Fanfic Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/bj_phebs/
Author: Phoebe a.k.a. Phebs
Reviewed by: maybeSammy
Title - 5/5
Your title is very unique and I just love the way it sounds when I read it. I can see how it reflects upon the story as they use their hearts to see each other as opposed to using their eyes.
Appearance - 5/5
Gorgeous poster. The colors are beautiful and I love the quote you used on the poster.
Forewords - 9/10
We gain insight on the story and learn the reason for Jaejoong's blindness. Good intro to the story.
Storyline - 9/15
Honestly, your story was a little confusing to read. I wasn't exactly happy that it all turned out being a dream especially since the dream lasted quite a few chapters long. The readers will most likely forget where the couple had left off. It also feels like we didn't get to read much of what happenned between BoA and Jaejoong for them to develop their loving relationship.
Story Flow - 9/15
How is Jaejoong so angry at BoA for her conversation with Minho that just a little later, he's chasing her and telling her how deeply he loves her? Also, Minho's confession totally happenned out of the blue.
Character Development - 8/15
It is somewhat confusing when I think of the characters. I know it was just a dream but no matter how tempted he was, would Jaejoong still take it that far with Nicole? It causes the readers to wonder if he's actually that in love with BoA. It also would've been nice if BoA had made a clean cut with Minho before getting together with Jaejoong
Descriptions - 10/10
Your descriptions are lovely. I can totally imagine each scene playing in front of my eyes as I read.
Correct spelling and grammar - 3/5
Your grammar is very off in some places. However, it's nothing the reader can't get around.
Keeping Interest - 8/10
Although they are typical scenes in dramas and fanfics, BoA's pregnancy and Nicole's evil scheme were definitely good turning points for your story.
Ending - 3/5
Once again, I think your story would've turn out much better if you had continued on from BoA's accident instead of making it all a dream. However, I must say I loved the scene with Jaejun and Bokju.
Bonus Points - 5/5
Bonus points for mentioning Henry, Liyin, and Nicole (some of my favorites), and also for the adorable ending with Jaejun's whistle!
Total - 74/100
I hope I didn't hurt your feelings in this review but I really tried to be as honest as possible. Your main problem lies in the Character Development category. You have to be so familiar and set on your character's personality's that if I were to give your character a situation, you'd be able to tell me what (s)he would do. Hopefully, this review can help you in the future. Good luck!
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