Fanfic Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/ABCMO/
Fanfic Title: ABC
Author: th1rd3ye
Reviewer: Hainexazien@kiwi-flight.blogspot.com
Title: 4/5
I couldn’t find a better reason for the title that you have put. The title did suit the story, but it could’ve been more suitable if it was another title. It would’ve caught my interest though if I was scrolling through the stories on Winglin.
Appearance: 3/5
I really liked the background color, and it was somewhat new to me. The font though (from the poster) really annoyed me of it’s really bolded appearance. I think that the poster didn’t really suit the story, because other than the quote on it (Which I found really suitable) I couldn’t find anything else on that poster that would tell me anything about your story. What I really didn’t understand though, was the water on the poster. In the whole story, there wasn’t once that water appeared –so why is it on your poster? The font color as easy to read, and I had no difficulties reading it.
Forewords: 7/10
You had descriptions of the main characters, and you also stated the themes of you story –Which I really liked. Though usually, it would’ve appealed more to me if there was a prologue or a preview. Prologues help drag readers to the story, and help keep their attention. So I recommend you do that for your next story.
Storyline: 12/15
I loved it, and it was not really common for fanfics. I also liked the twist a lot in the –somewhat—ending. Though it was a play, I never did quite understand how Jung Hoon caught his eye on Won Yeon. He said that he’s been noticing her for a year, and has liked her because of her strong personality, but he never talked to her. Not even once during that one year… It seems kind of ironic to me that it would happen that fast, and that he’d confess like right there when he finally got the chance to talk to her.
Story Flow: 15/15
The flow was just right, and wasn’t too rushed. Not once did I get lost during the story! Good Job!
Character Development: 15/15
The characters were actually developed quite well. Good Job!
Descriptions: 8/10
You could’ve been more descriptive in some parts of the story, but overall –it was pretty good!
Correct Spelling and Grammar: 4/5
'I could place any faith or trust in any rich people, especially one like Jung Hoon.' Did you mean that you couldn't place any faith or trust in rich people? Just a little mistake that people usually make; nothing to be too much worried about.
‘“Shut up, Kim Jung Eun! Young Won Yeon is so many times better than you with your irritating foul mouth! I love Han Ji Yeon! I want her to be my girlfriend! She is the only one for me! Yes, I drove her to school today! I had set my eyes on her! She is not the ugly duckling, you fool! She is my dearest princess, with her excellent personality, unlike you!”’ I didn’t quite get what you were trying to say in this part. Did you mean Young Won Yeon instead of Han Ji Yeon?
A few mistakes here and there, no biggie =D
Keeping Interest: 10/10
I did not turn my attention away from the story at all =D Good job!
Ending: 5/5
Loved the ending!
Bonus 5/5
Total: 88/100
I really enjoyed reading your story! Good Job! I honestly really love the twists you put in your stories! Keep it up! Thank-you for choosing Kiwi Flight!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Figment Review
Fanfic Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/sss_tm_Figment/
Author: th1rd3ye
Reviewer: Hainexazien@kiwi-flight.blogspot.com
Title: 4/5
I loved the title of the story, and it suited your story really well! Though if I were looking for stories on winglin, your title wouldn’t have been one that I would have clicked on; even though it suited your story well, it still needs to attract attention.
Appearance: 4/5
The poster was really beautiful, but it held no quotes or anything that told me anything about your story at all. The font would sometimes mix with the background, but other than that, good job!
Forewords: 8/10
I liked how you wrote previews and the credits in your forewords, but it would’ve been better if you would’ve added a bit more detail into the forewords, rather than just words and words. But overall, it was quite a good foreword.
Storyline: 10/15
The storyline was actually quite common, other than the little twist in the end in how you made it all into a figment. Try to add more detail into your story, and things that happen to make it more unique and different than the stories out there with the same plot.
Story Flow: 11/15
The story flowed quite fast in the beginning and it went from being strangers to lovers in merely one sentence. It reminded me of the ‘3 year later’ concept where you’ll just write 3 years later, and there’s no need to write anymore that’s happening. But the flows that it eventually developed in the last two chapters were great. Though when he disappeared and she jumped after him, it kind of confused me.
Character Development: 13/15
The characters were developed really well, as in TaeMin’s personality and our personality was developed very well. Though as I ready, I often didn’t get what EunJae was thinking –the way she was acting. You could’ve put a bit more detail into it.
Descriptions: 8/10
You were often not very descriptive. It could be improved; though you did use really unique words, and I awarded you points for that.
Correct Spelling and Grammar: 4/5
I found no spelling mistakes when reading the story, though many of the sentences in your story was choppy.
Keeping Interest: 10/10
The story kept my interest during most of the story, so perfect for that!
Ending: 5/5
I really liked the twist in the end, and it really surprised me.
Bonus: 5/5
Good Job! I really enjoyed reading your story and the little twist in the end. Just add a little more detail and it’ll be perfect! Thank-you for requesting at kiwi-flight!
Total: 82/100
Author: th1rd3ye
Reviewer: Hainexazien@kiwi-flight.blogspot.com
Title: 4/5
I loved the title of the story, and it suited your story really well! Though if I were looking for stories on winglin, your title wouldn’t have been one that I would have clicked on; even though it suited your story well, it still needs to attract attention.
Appearance: 4/5
The poster was really beautiful, but it held no quotes or anything that told me anything about your story at all. The font would sometimes mix with the background, but other than that, good job!
Forewords: 8/10
I liked how you wrote previews and the credits in your forewords, but it would’ve been better if you would’ve added a bit more detail into the forewords, rather than just words and words. But overall, it was quite a good foreword.
Storyline: 10/15
The storyline was actually quite common, other than the little twist in the end in how you made it all into a figment. Try to add more detail into your story, and things that happen to make it more unique and different than the stories out there with the same plot.
Story Flow: 11/15
The story flowed quite fast in the beginning and it went from being strangers to lovers in merely one sentence. It reminded me of the ‘3 year later’ concept where you’ll just write 3 years later, and there’s no need to write anymore that’s happening. But the flows that it eventually developed in the last two chapters were great. Though when he disappeared and she jumped after him, it kind of confused me.
Character Development: 13/15
The characters were developed really well, as in TaeMin’s personality and our personality was developed very well. Though as I ready, I often didn’t get what EunJae was thinking –the way she was acting. You could’ve put a bit more detail into it.
Descriptions: 8/10
You were often not very descriptive. It could be improved; though you did use really unique words, and I awarded you points for that.
Correct Spelling and Grammar: 4/5
I found no spelling mistakes when reading the story, though many of the sentences in your story was choppy.
Keeping Interest: 10/10
The story kept my interest during most of the story, so perfect for that!
Ending: 5/5
I really liked the twist in the end, and it really surprised me.
Bonus: 5/5
Good Job! I really enjoyed reading your story and the little twist in the end. Just add a little more detail and it’ll be perfect! Thank-you for requesting at kiwi-flight!
Total: 82/100
Saturday, April 24, 2010
-->im inlove with my bestfriend!<-- Review
Fanfic Url:http://winglin.net/fanfic/sirius/
Author: sung_min
Reviewed by: weepingangel
Author: sung_min
Reviewed by: weepingangel
Title - 4/5
The title already gives me an idea on to what the story is all about.
Appearance - 5/5
the color of the poster is not too bright and easy on the eyes. the poster is also nicely made.
Forewords - 6/10
the forewords just gave what is expected on the story. you could have given us a teaser on what will happen with the story, like a certain scene that will happen or a certain excerpt from one of the chapters
Storyline - 11/15
i've read too many best friend stories in winglin. but your story somehow had a twist in some way because from the very start, the two characters are already in love with each other.
Story Flow - 12/15
There are some parts in the story that are fast. You could be more details on some scenes in the story.
Character Development - 13/15
Good work on giving us details regarding the characters at the very start of the story.
Descriptions - 9/10
I can imagine myself as the leading lady of the story, which is a good thing :)
Correct spelling and grammar - 3/5
there are some misspelled and misused words, which made me confusesd. there are also some grammatical errors. try to double check the words that you are using.
Keeping Interest - 7/10
So far, you got me interested in the story. I love best friend stories, so consider me as your new reader :)
Ending - 0/5
Lets skip this part, since it's not yet complete, all right :)
Bonus Points - 3/5
1 point for making the reader as the lead of the story
2 points for always replying to your readers :)
Total: 70/95
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Fabric Magic Review
Fanfic Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/sss_onew_FM/
Author: th1rd3ye
Reviewed by: Tammy
Title - 5/5 – The title you have used is very interesting to my eyes, who would ever think ofsomething such as ‘Fabric Magic’? At first I thought it was some sort of fairy story but you completely changed my ideas around.
Appearance - 8/5 – The images used for the poster is really cute, especially the one of Onew. Also, the fact that you described what he was wearing in the poster, in the chapter itself was genius. I bet that no one noticed how you made that link; it is a very effective one that can have the readers actually sees the image you were showing through a real image. I am in love with the connections you make here, such as the fabric being purple and the background and poster being either very light purple or violet. There is another flower in here that is being emphasized.
Forewords - 10/10 – I’m going to say the same in what I said in my other review for you for Flair & Fleur & Key. You can just go read it again.
Storyline - 14/15 – I don’t know what else to say as I think I have said most of it in the other fic. You have such great ideas, most of them being so original. I have never read anything like this before.
Story Flow - 13/15: And... The same again. I really wished that it would have lasted a little longer. But nonetheless, you have portrayed enough information for the readers to understand.
Character Development - 15/15 – you have showed the clear difference in the spirit Jinki and the live Onew without me having to ask any questions. The advantage being Jinki having a screen name of Onew.
Descriptions - 9/10 – Also the same with the other review. Everything is clear and there were no hang ups. You left nothing out and it was well structured.
Correct spelling and grammar - 4/5 – I saw some typos in here that of which I am sure you didn’t mean to do. I make them too, it’s like when you think too fast but you’re typing it wrong. Better to double check next time.
Keeping Interest - 10/10 – I, for one, am very interested in the turn out of every chapter and the following stories connected to it.
Ending - 4/5 – Although I knew ‘Jinki’ is already dead and is nothing but a mere spirit, I was still driven to tears when he disappeared to go to heaven. But of course, it’s all good because Onew’s there.
Bonus Points - 5/5 – Your one of my favourite authors. Keep up the good work.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Flair Fleur and Key Review
Fanfic Url: http://winglin.net/fanfic/sss_key_FFK
Author: th1rd3ye
Reviewed by: Tammy
Title - 5/5 - Flair Fleur and Key as a title is a one of kind story headline that grasped my eyes almost immediately. I could automatically tell that it would be an interesting story along with its originality. I have not seen a title like this before in my frequent search for fanfictions so yours totally made an impact.
Appearance - 4/5 - The poster is also absolutely beautiful. It has good use of contrast and the colours are not overdone. It is fair and neutral. The pictures used for the poster are well picked, Key looks adorable in his pose that can hint his behaviour in the fic; fun and bubbly. The girl as a contrast makes it more interesting as she has a funky-type seriousness look in her that clues that she will be the hard to get person. There is an uproar the pleases my eyes even more is the bright sunflower. Not only because Yellow is my favourite colour, but because it stands out amongst the rest, it is cute and large without having to distract anyone form their reading. I also adore the font, it looks vintage yet spontaneous. The one thing that confuses me is the background, what exactly is the purpose of the cute little angels?
Forewords - 9/10 - The forewords consists of mutual information that is crucial to keep the readers reading your short story. Some of them are even just extras to make it more interesting, like the Definitions. I am glad that you have added that kind of feature in your forewords as most of fanfiction writers have English as their second language and it would help them to understand a little better. Along with the Inspiration, it gives ideas to readers on how to get ideas from and jot them down for a much better turnout. The teasers you've used totally got me at the edge of my seat and had my finger aching to click and read the first chapter. I got confused at first but that was the beauty of it.
Storyline - 14/15 - I definitely love the storyline, it is unique and has its own flavour. Like it says on the forewords, it is not a typical story and you were exactly right. I love the idea of Key being a graffiti artist and the character that 'I' play which is Won Eun Na reaches out to him and seeks for some of his knowledge. It is a cute way to start a friendship and definitely an adorable way to start a love life. The fact that you have used a name to play the reader and avoided the annoying squiggly lines for empty names is a plus, I hate those lines, so annoying. Although it may sound a little plain, it would've been better if you added a little more twist in there, maybe when Eun Na found out that Key was going to propose to someone else, she decides to actually move on and find another man, until she finds out it was actually her that he wanted to marry. I know you've already done that in a way, but I'm talking about actually bringing another man in life there, someone with her, hugging her for comfort or planting a kiss on her lips when she wasn't prepared. I don't know, but I suppose you don't have much chapters in the first place so the plot you currently have is great as it is.
Story Flow - 13/15 - Although it is only a short story, every single detail is well written at its own pace as well, no information was rushed and it was also well described. But, I would've been happier if it dragged on a bit.
Character Development - 15/15 - There were not many characters but you have showed clearly of the change of Key's behaviour through the path of life that Key has chosen, once was a graffiti artist in the streets, but until he met her, his life completely changed and he decided to use his talent for good. The girl was mentioned as a very unfashionable person and when Key came, she became more aware of her clothing, always keeping in mind of what Key has told her. In a way, they were both an inspiration to one another.
Descriptions - 9/10 - I have no idea you have put a lot of description in such a short story but it is your talent that must not be put to waste. I could clearly imagine where everything was set and had a clear image of what the people were wearing and how they spoke. Everything as in order.
Correct spelling and grammar - 5/5 - I have not seen mistakes in your grammar nor your spelling. Along with the vocabulary. You have used meaningful big words to make the writing a little more readable. Your tenses are also well placed from the present to the past.
Keeping Interest - 9/10: You have definitely grasped my eyes into reading your 3 chapters and was very happy with the result. They got married and lived happily ever after. The idea you had about the see-through ring with graffiti writings inside got me tempted into having my future boyfriend to make one for me otherwise I won't accept him. I'm joking, but I do hope that it will be as sweet as this one, being a unique person myself, I want something that would separate me from my friends boring old diamonds. After all, what you have done with your hard work always pays off.
Ending - 5/5 - As I have said before, I loved the ending. It is a usual ending for such a dramatic fic like this but it was rather interesting with the personalized rings. I would love to marry someone like Key and you have convinced me to think so.
Bonus Points - 5/5 - For what it's worth, I am one of your silent readers and I have read this before as well as your other short fics. Great Job.
Total - 93/100
Author: th1rd3ye
Reviewed by: Tammy
Title - 5/5 - Flair Fleur and Key as a title is a one of kind story headline that grasped my eyes almost immediately. I could automatically tell that it would be an interesting story along with its originality. I have not seen a title like this before in my frequent search for fanfictions so yours totally made an impact.
Appearance - 4/5 - The poster is also absolutely beautiful. It has good use of contrast and the colours are not overdone. It is fair and neutral. The pictures used for the poster are well picked, Key looks adorable in his pose that can hint his behaviour in the fic; fun and bubbly. The girl as a contrast makes it more interesting as she has a funky-type seriousness look in her that clues that she will be the hard to get person. There is an uproar the pleases my eyes even more is the bright sunflower. Not only because Yellow is my favourite colour, but because it stands out amongst the rest, it is cute and large without having to distract anyone form their reading. I also adore the font, it looks vintage yet spontaneous. The one thing that confuses me is the background, what exactly is the purpose of the cute little angels?
Forewords - 9/10 - The forewords consists of mutual information that is crucial to keep the readers reading your short story. Some of them are even just extras to make it more interesting, like the Definitions. I am glad that you have added that kind of feature in your forewords as most of fanfiction writers have English as their second language and it would help them to understand a little better. Along with the Inspiration, it gives ideas to readers on how to get ideas from and jot them down for a much better turnout. The teasers you've used totally got me at the edge of my seat and had my finger aching to click and read the first chapter. I got confused at first but that was the beauty of it.
Storyline - 14/15 - I definitely love the storyline, it is unique and has its own flavour. Like it says on the forewords, it is not a typical story and you were exactly right. I love the idea of Key being a graffiti artist and the character that 'I' play which is Won Eun Na reaches out to him and seeks for some of his knowledge. It is a cute way to start a friendship and definitely an adorable way to start a love life. The fact that you have used a name to play the reader and avoided the annoying squiggly lines for empty names is a plus, I hate those lines, so annoying. Although it may sound a little plain, it would've been better if you added a little more twist in there, maybe when Eun Na found out that Key was going to propose to someone else, she decides to actually move on and find another man, until she finds out it was actually her that he wanted to marry. I know you've already done that in a way, but I'm talking about actually bringing another man in life there, someone with her, hugging her for comfort or planting a kiss on her lips when she wasn't prepared. I don't know, but I suppose you don't have much chapters in the first place so the plot you currently have is great as it is.
Story Flow - 13/15 - Although it is only a short story, every single detail is well written at its own pace as well, no information was rushed and it was also well described. But, I would've been happier if it dragged on a bit.
Character Development - 15/15 - There were not many characters but you have showed clearly of the change of Key's behaviour through the path of life that Key has chosen, once was a graffiti artist in the streets, but until he met her, his life completely changed and he decided to use his talent for good. The girl was mentioned as a very unfashionable person and when Key came, she became more aware of her clothing, always keeping in mind of what Key has told her. In a way, they were both an inspiration to one another.
Descriptions - 9/10 - I have no idea you have put a lot of description in such a short story but it is your talent that must not be put to waste. I could clearly imagine where everything was set and had a clear image of what the people were wearing and how they spoke. Everything as in order.
Correct spelling and grammar - 5/5 - I have not seen mistakes in your grammar nor your spelling. Along with the vocabulary. You have used meaningful big words to make the writing a little more readable. Your tenses are also well placed from the present to the past.
Keeping Interest - 9/10: You have definitely grasped my eyes into reading your 3 chapters and was very happy with the result. They got married and lived happily ever after. The idea you had about the see-through ring with graffiti writings inside got me tempted into having my future boyfriend to make one for me otherwise I won't accept him. I'm joking, but I do hope that it will be as sweet as this one, being a unique person myself, I want something that would separate me from my friends boring old diamonds. After all, what you have done with your hard work always pays off.
Ending - 5/5 - As I have said before, I loved the ending. It is a usual ending for such a dramatic fic like this but it was rather interesting with the personalized rings. I would love to marry someone like Key and you have convinced me to think so.
Bonus Points - 5/5 - For what it's worth, I am one of your silent readers and I have read this before as well as your other short fics. Great Job.
Total - 93/100
Sunday, April 4, 2010
An Eye through My Heart, for the Sight of You Review
Fanfic Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/bj_phebs/
Author: Phoebe a.k.a. Phebs
Reviewed by: maybeSammy
Title - 5/5
Your title is very unique and I just love the way it sounds when I read it. I can see how it reflects upon the story as they use their hearts to see each other as opposed to using their eyes.
Appearance - 5/5
Gorgeous poster. The colors are beautiful and I love the quote you used on the poster.
Forewords - 9/10
We gain insight on the story and learn the reason for Jaejoong's blindness. Good intro to the story.
Storyline - 9/15
Honestly, your story was a little confusing to read. I wasn't exactly happy that it all turned out being a dream especially since the dream lasted quite a few chapters long. The readers will most likely forget where the couple had left off. It also feels like we didn't get to read much of what happenned between BoA and Jaejoong for them to develop their loving relationship.
Story Flow - 9/15
How is Jaejoong so angry at BoA for her conversation with Minho that just a little later, he's chasing her and telling her how deeply he loves her? Also, Minho's confession totally happenned out of the blue.
Character Development - 8/15
It is somewhat confusing when I think of the characters. I know it was just a dream but no matter how tempted he was, would Jaejoong still take it that far with Nicole? It causes the readers to wonder if he's actually that in love with BoA. It also would've been nice if BoA had made a clean cut with Minho before getting together with Jaejoong
Descriptions - 10/10
Your descriptions are lovely. I can totally imagine each scene playing in front of my eyes as I read.
Correct spelling and grammar - 3/5
Your grammar is very off in some places. However, it's nothing the reader can't get around.
Keeping Interest - 8/10
Although they are typical scenes in dramas and fanfics, BoA's pregnancy and Nicole's evil scheme were definitely good turning points for your story.
Ending - 3/5
Once again, I think your story would've turn out much better if you had continued on from BoA's accident instead of making it all a dream. However, I must say I loved the scene with Jaejun and Bokju.
Bonus Points - 5/5
Bonus points for mentioning Henry, Liyin, and Nicole (some of my favorites), and also for the adorable ending with Jaejun's whistle!
Total - 74/100
I hope I didn't hurt your feelings in this review but I really tried to be as honest as possible. Your main problem lies in the Character Development category. You have to be so familiar and set on your character's personality's that if I were to give your character a situation, you'd be able to tell me what (s)he would do. Hopefully, this review can help you in the future. Good luck!
Author: Phoebe a.k.a. Phebs
Reviewed by: maybeSammy
Title - 5/5
Your title is very unique and I just love the way it sounds when I read it. I can see how it reflects upon the story as they use their hearts to see each other as opposed to using their eyes.
Appearance - 5/5
Gorgeous poster. The colors are beautiful and I love the quote you used on the poster.
Forewords - 9/10
We gain insight on the story and learn the reason for Jaejoong's blindness. Good intro to the story.
Storyline - 9/15
Honestly, your story was a little confusing to read. I wasn't exactly happy that it all turned out being a dream especially since the dream lasted quite a few chapters long. The readers will most likely forget where the couple had left off. It also feels like we didn't get to read much of what happenned between BoA and Jaejoong for them to develop their loving relationship.
Story Flow - 9/15
How is Jaejoong so angry at BoA for her conversation with Minho that just a little later, he's chasing her and telling her how deeply he loves her? Also, Minho's confession totally happenned out of the blue.
Character Development - 8/15
It is somewhat confusing when I think of the characters. I know it was just a dream but no matter how tempted he was, would Jaejoong still take it that far with Nicole? It causes the readers to wonder if he's actually that in love with BoA. It also would've been nice if BoA had made a clean cut with Minho before getting together with Jaejoong
Descriptions - 10/10
Your descriptions are lovely. I can totally imagine each scene playing in front of my eyes as I read.
Correct spelling and grammar - 3/5
Your grammar is very off in some places. However, it's nothing the reader can't get around.
Keeping Interest - 8/10
Although they are typical scenes in dramas and fanfics, BoA's pregnancy and Nicole's evil scheme were definitely good turning points for your story.
Ending - 3/5
Once again, I think your story would've turn out much better if you had continued on from BoA's accident instead of making it all a dream. However, I must say I loved the scene with Jaejun and Bokju.
Bonus Points - 5/5
Bonus points for mentioning Henry, Liyin, and Nicole (some of my favorites), and also for the adorable ending with Jaejun's whistle!
Total - 74/100
I hope I didn't hurt your feelings in this review but I really tried to be as honest as possible. Your main problem lies in the Character Development category. You have to be so familiar and set on your character's personality's that if I were to give your character a situation, you'd be able to tell me what (s)he would do. Hopefully, this review can help you in the future. Good luck!
Love Hurts Review
Fanfic URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/aying_2
Author: aying`
Reviewed by: Afhilangie
Title - 3/5 Sounds like a song to me. You should come up with a better idea because the readers usually scan through the titles and it doesn't seem really interesting at all.
Appearance - 4/5 The picture was nice. The color was dark and gloomy, fits the story well. What I really didn't like is the rectangular box. Brushings and featherings mostly complement the poster.
Forewords - 7/10 It was detailed well though the prologue didn't say much of it. Even the introduction of characters are too bland. You should include their personalities as well.
Storyline - 13/15 A typical storyline. The guy was in love with his fiance's best friend and was stuck with an arranged marriage. The twist about the guy leading others to his death was unexpected though. I was surprised to know that he's alive and went back to the one he truly loves.
Story Flow -15/15 The flow was a bit fast but I would consider it because it's a one shot story.
Character Development - 13/15 It seemed that the story was focused mainly on Yoo Chun and Aisha. I know it was a love triangle but Jessica got into the picture at the beginning only. You should add some traits and characteristics of her to spice up the love triangle she's involved with.
Descriptions - 7/10 No definite description about the place or anything in particular. You switched from places to places but the only thing that stuck on my mind was Aisha's place and her flying back to New York where they first met.
Correct spelling and grammar - 4/5 Quite a few mistakes but can be fixed easily.
Keeping Interest - 7/10 To tell you honestly, I don't like sad stories. Makes me depressed and annoyed at the same time, knowing that an author can do something about it and create a nice mood for the story to be enjoyable. Well, that's just my opinion. I know that all of your readers love the stories you created.
Ending - 3/5 *Jaw dropped* Yoo Chun came back in an instant without a single word? A big no, no for me! Not the ending I was expecting.
Bonus Points - 3/5 One point for requesting at Kiwi Flight. One point for Yoo Chun because he chose the one he loves. Another point for creating a happy ending.
Total - 79/100
04/04/10
Author: aying`
Reviewed by: Afhilangie
Title - 3/5 Sounds like a song to me. You should come up with a better idea because the readers usually scan through the titles and it doesn't seem really interesting at all.
Appearance - 4/5 The picture was nice. The color was dark and gloomy, fits the story well. What I really didn't like is the rectangular box. Brushings and featherings mostly complement the poster.
Forewords - 7/10 It was detailed well though the prologue didn't say much of it. Even the introduction of characters are too bland. You should include their personalities as well.
Storyline - 13/15 A typical storyline. The guy was in love with his fiance's best friend and was stuck with an arranged marriage. The twist about the guy leading others to his death was unexpected though. I was surprised to know that he's alive and went back to the one he truly loves.
Story Flow -15/15 The flow was a bit fast but I would consider it because it's a one shot story.
Character Development - 13/15 It seemed that the story was focused mainly on Yoo Chun and Aisha. I know it was a love triangle but Jessica got into the picture at the beginning only. You should add some traits and characteristics of her to spice up the love triangle she's involved with.
Descriptions - 7/10 No definite description about the place or anything in particular. You switched from places to places but the only thing that stuck on my mind was Aisha's place and her flying back to New York where they first met.
Correct spelling and grammar - 4/5 Quite a few mistakes but can be fixed easily.
Keeping Interest - 7/10 To tell you honestly, I don't like sad stories. Makes me depressed and annoyed at the same time, knowing that an author can do something about it and create a nice mood for the story to be enjoyable. Well, that's just my opinion. I know that all of your readers love the stories you created.
Ending - 3/5 *Jaw dropped* Yoo Chun came back in an instant without a single word? A big no, no for me! Not the ending I was expecting.
Bonus Points - 3/5 One point for requesting at Kiwi Flight. One point for Yoo Chun because he chose the one he loves. Another point for creating a happy ending.
Total - 79/100
04/04/10
Friday, April 2, 2010
Fate's Call Review
Fan Fic URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/sss_mh_FC/
Author: th1rd3ye
Reviewer: weepingangel
Title - 5/5
The title really matched up with the plot of the story. Without reading the story yet, it gave me an idea as to how the story will go
Appearance - 5/5
I love the background color, not too bright for a shade of pink. I also like how you put a phone booth on it.
Forewords - 8/10
Though this is a short story, you still managed to give us an overview of how the story goes, and why it's called Fate's call. I like the part that you gave a definition for fate and call. It's also goo that you gave us a background on the characters of the story.
Storyline - 13/15
I've read this kind of story before, but the twist on it made it different. Who would ever thought that Min Eun's sister would turn out to be Min Ho, the guy that Yeong Lin randomly called to rant about her ex-bf. I thought that they would meet the usual way, like through friends, or they will bump into each other, but I was wrong. I also like how you gave the hint that Min Ho fell in love with her, though I'm not quite sure if he fell in love with her at first sght or at first call. So, good job for making that twist.
Story Flow - 13/15
The pacing is good so far, but I would have appreciated it if you elaborated on certain main events, like the call Yeong Lin made, how they got closer, and what happened after Min Ho called Mr. Jerk.
Character Development - 13/15
I was able to get a background of the characters right from the forewords, and as the story went on, you were able to give us a much bigger picture about them.
Descriptions - 8/10
You described the situation well, as well as the character's feelings. It made me feel that I am really part of the story.
Correct spelling and grammar - 3/5
I've seen some grammatical errors and some mispelled words,
Keeping Interest - 8/10
I'm not used to reading fan fics with Kpop artists on it, but reading the title itself made me look forward to it. Good thing this one is already completed, or else I would have been bugging you to update :D
Ending - 4/5
It was a cliffhnger. i wanted to know what happened after Min Ho called Mr. Jerk.
Bonus Points - 2/5
1 point for the subtitle of the chapters. [T][R][E][A][T]
1 point for completing it
Total = 82/100
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Fumed Firefly Without Ashes Review
Fanfic Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/sss_jh_FFWA
Author: th1rd3ye
Revied by: Afhilangie
Title - 4/5
The title sounds very deep and serious. Interesting. But I guess, the other readers who scan through winglin will predict it's a tragic story.
Appearance - 5/5
The poster and background was eye-catching. The colors were not too bland nor too rich. It matched the fanfic well. Good job. Credits to the designer.
Forewords - 7/10
You detailed the forewords nicely but the preview of the story, which is the most important in this section wasn't describe well. Then, I really disagree with you posting the preview of your next story right at the first page of your fanfic! What if a SHINee fan love Hong Ki more than Jong Hyun?(Which I really doubt. Teehee!) They would just ignore this fanfic and wait for Hong Ki's story to surface. Write them at the last chapter or the end of your fanfic.
Storyline - 13/15
Very nice storyline. Pardon me for not giving you a perfect score though. I just hate sad endings. I was on the edge of my seat when you suddenly stopped right when Hong Ki was about to tell his story! Why do you have to put it on another fanfic? Rawr!(Just kiddin')
Story Flow -15/15
The flow is right on track. Not too fast nor too slow. Well done.
Character Development - 13/15
I was confused on the first chapter of the story. You used Jong Hyun as the first person view then suddenly you changed to Hong Ki then went back to Jong Hyun. The characteristics was described well and no doubt about it.
Descriptions - 8/10
I can imagine the cafe that Jong Hyun went into. Nice settings, even the flashbacks where he imagined about him and Ga Tong was amazing. Perfectly described.
Correct spelling and grammar - 4/5
Quite a few mistakes but can be fixed easily. Better to re-read the story before posting.
Keeping Interest - 8/10
At first, when I knew I was going to do a review for kpop fanfic, I said to myself, I'm going to be biased with the writer. But then, first impression never last. The story was interesting and I'm looking forward to Hong Ki's story!
Ending - 3/5
Cliffhanger! Hmmp.
Bonus Points - 3/5
One point for hanging me in the air waiting for Hong Ki's side of story.
One point for requesting at Kiwi Flight.
Another point for accomplishing the first fanfic here at Kiwi Flight! Yay!
Total - 83/100
Author: th1rd3ye
Revied by: Afhilangie
Title - 4/5
The title sounds very deep and serious. Interesting. But I guess, the other readers who scan through winglin will predict it's a tragic story.
Appearance - 5/5
The poster and background was eye-catching. The colors were not too bland nor too rich. It matched the fanfic well. Good job. Credits to the designer.
Forewords - 7/10
You detailed the forewords nicely but the preview of the story, which is the most important in this section wasn't describe well. Then, I really disagree with you posting the preview of your next story right at the first page of your fanfic! What if a SHINee fan love Hong Ki more than Jong Hyun?(Which I really doubt. Teehee!) They would just ignore this fanfic and wait for Hong Ki's story to surface. Write them at the last chapter or the end of your fanfic.
Storyline - 13/15
Very nice storyline. Pardon me for not giving you a perfect score though. I just hate sad endings. I was on the edge of my seat when you suddenly stopped right when Hong Ki was about to tell his story! Why do you have to put it on another fanfic? Rawr!(Just kiddin')
Story Flow -15/15
The flow is right on track. Not too fast nor too slow. Well done.
Character Development - 13/15
I was confused on the first chapter of the story. You used Jong Hyun as the first person view then suddenly you changed to Hong Ki then went back to Jong Hyun. The characteristics was described well and no doubt about it.
Descriptions - 8/10
I can imagine the cafe that Jong Hyun went into. Nice settings, even the flashbacks where he imagined about him and Ga Tong was amazing. Perfectly described.
Correct spelling and grammar - 4/5
Quite a few mistakes but can be fixed easily. Better to re-read the story before posting.
Keeping Interest - 8/10
At first, when I knew I was going to do a review for kpop fanfic, I said to myself, I'm going to be biased with the writer. But then, first impression never last. The story was interesting and I'm looking forward to Hong Ki's story!
Ending - 3/5
Cliffhanger! Hmmp.
Bonus Points - 3/5
One point for hanging me in the air waiting for Hong Ki's side of story.
One point for requesting at Kiwi Flight.
Another point for accomplishing the first fanfic here at Kiwi Flight! Yay!
Total - 83/100
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