The Little Girl & Her Prince Charming Review

Fanfic Title: The Little Girl & Her Prince Charming
Author: SuperSapphire
Fanfic Url: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/5673/the-little-girl-her-prince-charming-one-shot-shinee
Reviewer: Hainexazien@kiwi-flight.blogspot.com

Title: 4/5
I thought the title fairly appropriate, and that it suited the story quite well! It was quite capturing as well, as I would click on it if I was scrolling through a page of fanfics, though I took a mark off for how often it’s used. Though it’s not one of the ‘super-used’ titles for stories, but I have seen titles that are quite similar to this, but it’s still quite able to attract a reader’s attention! So good job!

Appearance: 3/5
There wasn’t necessarily a poster, in which I would usually mark the appearance out of, but instead, I marked it on the organization of the fanfic, and I took marks off because the forewords in itself didn’t really look that organized, and though the fanfic text in itself is very organized, the forewords wasn’t. Such big text made the words look quite crowded, so just keep that in mind the next time you write.

Forewords: 2/10
Your forewords really didn’t tell me much of the story, and though having the story dedicated to one of your best friend is really something that’s nice to know, but it doesn’t tell me much about the story. There was about one sentence that you wrote that told me briefly what the one-shot was about, but though it’s a one-shot, I do tend to expect a description of the characters or at least a prologue to be present, as it pulls in the readers’ attention, and keeps the readers reading. Without it, it’s really just an author’s note –and those most often don’t pull in much attention.

Storyline: 12/15
I don’t have much to say about the storyline itself, as it was used quite a few times as well (As I’ve seen it around quite a few times), but you’ve managed to make the story somewhat ‘yours’ in a way that I would know that it was your story even if you didn’t indicate it earlier. You added a little bit creativity in there that allowed this storyline stand out from all the others that are similar. So Good Job!

Story Flow: 15/15
You did a great job keeping the flow in this story consistent and comfortable to read with! So full marks! Keep up the good work!

Character Development: 15/15
The characters were really developed quite well, as I could tell what they were thinking, and I could actually relate to how they were feeling, so that’s always a good thing. I knew and understood how they felt and viewed things, and so that was really good!

Descriptions: 5/10
You weren’t very detailed when writing, and the descriptions you put in your story were very limited. Try to expand on your descriptions in your story, as it adds a better image or impression in your reader’s mind. There would be no point in writing if all your characters are vague, and they really don’t know much about the character –it would be very much equal to not reading the story at all.

Correct Spelling/ Grammar: 5/5
I didn’t see a lot of grammar and spelling errors within the story –but the ones I did see, they weren’t really big ones, so there’s nothing to worry about! Good job!

Keeping Interest: 10/10
I never swayed when I read your story, and I was never distracted, and so it did quite a good job of keeping my interest, and it a very good well-written story! Keep up the good work!

Ending: 5/5
I love happy endings, and it may be a little biased, but it was a good ending! A little overused, but still a good ending! Good job!

Bonus Points: 5/5

Total: 81/100

Good Job! I really liked reading your one-shot! And I really apologize for taking so long to do your review! I hope I didn’t offend you in any way in this review! I hope you can use this as a guide in the future for writing! Thank-you for requesting at Kiwi-flight, and I wish you all the best!