Letting Go Review

Fanfic Url: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/SHINeeO1/
Author: `shinee
Reviewed by maybeSammy

Title - 4/5
Although not incredibly unique, the title suits your story very well and has a nice ring to it. However, I feel like you could've taken a step forever. For example, you could've related the title to the piano song she played which plays a big role in Eunji's and Jonghun's relationship.

Appearance - 5/5
Outstanding poster and background! They are not only attractive, but related to your story as well.

Forewords - 9/10
The Forewords were beautifully written. I think they would've been even better if the entire thing was written in Eunji's POV. It suddenly changes from a voice describing Eunji's and Jonghun's relationship to Eunji speaking of it herself. Nevertheless, you did a good job in introducing the story without giving too much away or boring the readers. Your portrayal of fate was quite intriguing.

Storyline - 12/15
Nothing new. I've read of most of the scenarios (e.g. call from the hospital, field of flowers) in other fanfics, but you still managed to pull it off because each scene has a well-defined feel to it. The flashbacks had a lot of meaning and I actually got chills from reading some of the dialogue! For example, when Jonghun told Eunji that she was his miracle, I almost died, haha. I also thought the incorporation of the belief of angels added a nice touch to the story.

Story Flow - 15/15
Perfect! I didn't feel lost at any point and you smoothly incorporated the flashbacks which can be hard at times. Nicely done.

Character Development - 15/15
When reading most one-shots, it's hard for the reader to really feel close to the characters. However, I was able to understand both characters, especially Jonghun. You can tell he's someone who may joke around but cares deeply about the person he loves. Well done.

Descriptions - 8/10
Spotted lots of great descriptions even with the small details.

"The dark and light green grasses were swaying left and right; like they were welcoming her once again, telling her not to cry. The fresh breeze circled around her and enveloped her in a refreshing hug as she smiled brightly ahead of her."

I thought these two sentences were especially beautiful. However, there are many sentences in which you just state a description instead of showing us. Paint the picture yourself! For example,

"The music that was echoing around the auditorium was powerful and yet gentle"

could be written as

"The powerful yet gentle music echoed around the auditorium."

"They were outside, walking on the wet cement under the umbrella that was big enough for the two of them. There was barely anyone out in the streets due to the heavy raining and the fogginess in the streets. They were walking together, hands held tight against each other and footsteps in sync. It was a beautiful symphony created by the two; it was simple, yet menacing."

could be changed to

"Under the umbrella big enough for the two of them, they walked on the wet cement. Barely anyone was out on the streets due to the heavy rain and fog. They walked together, hands tightly held against each other with their footsteps in sync. The two created a beautiful symphony that was simple, yet menacing."

Notice how the second description seems to flow better? There's no need to keep using "There was" in your sentences.

Correct Spelling/Grammar - 2/5
Spelling was pretty spot-on. However, I spotted many grammatical errors. One major problem was your usage of the semicolon (;). A semicolon can only be used if both the clause before and after it are independent. Many places where you used the semicolon, you could've just used the comma or linked both phrases with the word "and."

"But that was now all gone; disappeared into thin air within a blink of an eye.

should be

"But that was now all gone; it had disappeared into thin air within a blink of an eye."

Keeping Interest - 8/10
Like I said, not much is new but even if it weren't just for the sake of reviewing it, I'd still have read until the end.

Ending - 5/5
The ending was wonderfully written and didn't keep us hanging. Good to know she's letting herself free from the misery without replacing Jonghun's place in her heart. I love how you ended the one-shot with the engravements on his tombstone. It was very moving :)

Bonus Points - 5/5
Bonus points for touching my emotions to the point where I get chills. Not many stories can do that! A very enjoyable one-shot in general. Hope you can take the advice in this review and continue writing beautiful works (: Good luck!

Total - 88/100